"What TOOK you so long?" Mira asked Lauren as she shuffled into the kitchen and slumped in one of the chairs. "It feels like we've been waiting for you for WEEKS!"
"Patience," Lauren yawned. "You can't rush greatness."
Kyle, one of Mr. Charles's all-purpose minions who knew how to do just about everything, started serving breakfast. "I'm pretty sure I figured out Blue Moon's recipe. Tell me what you guys think..."
"Cap'n Crunch french toast!" Candy said gleefully. "Meiling is going to be upset she missed this!"
Just then, Lauren noticed the man sitting next to Candy at the table. "Who's the new guy?"
"The new guy's name is John Burkhard, and I suppose I'm like your new... handler? Or something? Mr. Charles had to go away to investigate a possible new case so I'll be helping out around here" John said. "I've already met everyone else, minus Meiling, a.k.a. the bionic woman... She apparently decided to visit a friend in some little town in Tennessee last night... And you're Lauren..."
"You know an awful lot about us," Shannon said, narrowing her eyes. "And we know nothing about you."
"Except for the fact that you definitely need a codename. 'John' is just so... blah," Mira said, scrunching her face.
"Well," John said thoughtfully, "some of my friends call me 'JB.' Let me see here..." John pulled a bunch of business cards out of his pocket. "Huh... Nope, just plain old John or JB on all of these."
"Wait a second," Jen said. "Let me see those!" She snatched the cards out of his hands. "International Man of Mystery? Gangster of love? These are AWESOME!"
"Hmmm... you still need a codename though. We all have them," Candy said. "Mine's Sierra..."
"Actually, it's Sierra Charlie, which is just code for 'Super Cute,' but that's wordy and not very cryptic," Mira said. "Mine is Snood..."
"After the computer game of the same name, mainly because she makes very snoodly faces," Lauren smiled. Mira stuck her tongue out. "Case in point," Lauren said stepping out of range just in time to avoid a roundhouse kick to her butt.
"I've got a bunch, but people seem to like 'Big Guns' the best, probably because I've got chicken arms," Jen said, pulling her sleeve up to reveal... well... chicken arms.
"I don't know," Candy said, looking at John thoughtfully. She turned to Mira. "Any ideas? John Burkhard, JB... You don't look like a John... You're kind of like a Bosley..."
Their eyes met. "Burkie!" Candy and Mira said simultaneously.
Shannon and Lauren looked at each other and shrugged. "Burkie it is," Lauren said.
"What's a Burkie?" Meiling asked, walking through the doorway. Kyle, always prepared, slid a plate of french toast into her vacant seat at the table.
"Not 'what,' but 'who!'" Jen said, gesturing to the dapper gent now known as 'Burkie.'
"OH. MY. GOD..." Shannon said, eyes glued to her iPhone. "Just got a notification from my celebrity news feed... Courtney, that bitchy finalist on the Bachelor, was found dead this morning!"
All eyes turned toward Meiling.
"WHAT?" she said, eyes wide. She quickly turned her focus to her french toast.
Shannon continued reading. "Authorities were called to her condo in
Tennessee..." she paused and looked at Meiling pointedly. "... after
neighbors heard her screaming. Police on the scene wouldn't comment on
the circumstances surrounding Courtney's untimely death and would only
say that the investigation was ongoing, but witnesses on the scene said
that Courtney's head had been 'crushed like a grape.'"
Everyone stared at Meiling, but she refused to look up from her breakfast. "I don't know what you're looking at me for," she said around a mouthful of french toast. "I was visiting my friend... Jill... We were catching up."
"You didn't stay very long," Candy observed.
"We don't have a lot in common anymore, so it didn't take long," Meiling said, matter-of-factly.
"Charlie always says, we're supposed to use our powers for good, not for evil," Mira said in a hushed voice.
"I doubt many people acquainted with that harpy will think this was a bad thing," Lauren said with a quiet smirk.
Meiling tried to hide a smile as she forked another bite into her mouth and all shocked gazes and gaping mouths shifted to Lauren.
"Just sayin'..." she muttered.
Burkie turned to Meiling and Lauren. "May I make a suggestion? Have you considered the Kardashians?"
