Alison Hannigan, a psychologist employed by the county school board, could not believe her eyes. Part of her job was to keep dangerous, emotionally disturbed, or otherwise undesirable children out of the county public schools, and in doing so, she often subjected questionable children and teens to a standard battery of testing, but in the four years that she had also secretly been on Mr. Charles’s payroll, she had never come across a teen who came so close to fitting the profile Mr. Charles was looking for. She had never expected to find such a case, but she had signed an agreement promising to keep a constant watch anyway, and she happily looked forward to the deposits wired into her checking account each month. Working for the education system didn’t pay much.
She opened her desk drawer and rifled through its contents until she found his business card. Her hand shook slightly as she dialed the number. As she waited for someone to pick up, she wondered if the number had changed in the last four years. He had never contacted her after their initial meeting, but something made her feel sure that he kept tabs on her nonetheless. She shivered. He was a mystery.
Someone answered on the other end. Alison took a deep breath.
“I’d like to speak with Mr. Charles, please. This is Alison Hannigan calling from the Arundel County school board.”
“One moment please,” said a stern female voice.
After almost five minutes on hold, Charles finally picked up.
“Hello? Mr. Charles? I think I’ve found a girl that you may be interested in,” she said with excitement in her voice.
“Wonderful, Ms. Hannigan. Does she fit the criteria?” Charles asked.
“Almost to a T. She is easy-going, smart and has diverse interests. She has plenty of friends at school, and is well-liked by all of her teachers,” Alison continued.
“Then how did her file come across your desk?”
“Well…” she paused, wondering how to further explain. “She is persuasive, and has an overdeveloped sense of… ridiculousness. I’m not sure how else to put it. The most recent incident started when she convinced a group of 17 fellow students to help her kidnap 11 fainting goats from a nearby petting zoo…”
“Fainting goats?”
“Yes, Mr. Charles, fainting goats. Look it up on YouTube. Anyway, she and her cronies released the goats on the school’s football field during the marching band’s homecoming half-time show. The band was right in the middle of the 1812 Overture… All of those clashing symbols, and banging drums, and the ROTC was firing their guns… Those poor animals were loose on the field, running around in a panic when they could, wouldn’t let a soul get near them, and then fainting at each gunshot or clash of a symbol, but it only takes them a few seconds to get back up and by then they were off again. No one could catch them… It took almost 40 minutes to round them all up again. Marching band members ended up having to surround them individually, scare them with a sudden blare of a horn or beating of a drum, and then pounce on them when they keeled over…” Alison took a breath.
“That must have been very… traumatic… for the goats,” Charles said in a muffled voice.
“Wait!” Alison said, angrily. “Are you laughing?”
“NO! I mean… no, Ms. Hannigan, of course not,” Charles said, in a voice he hoped sounded very stern. “I am not laughing, because this incident was not funny in the least. I’m sure it was a very difficult situation for everyone involved.”
“Well, the owners of the petting zoo were certainly livid. They’re suing the county school board for $1.1 million, that’s $100,000 per goat, for the goats’ pain and suffering. They’ve claimed that now the female goats won’t let the males get anywhere near them to mate, and even if they would, the males have all become impotent. They’re claiming all of the goats are suffering from PTSD, and they’re looking for an animal psychologist to back up their claims in court,” she continued seriously.
“Post traumatic stress disorder?” he asked.
“Yes. They claim that animals can suffer from it just like people. Anyway, $1.1 million is nothing to sneeze at and the school board is FURIOUS. That’s how this file came across my desk. They want her out of Arundel county for good.”
“I see,” said Charles. “So at the beginning of our conversation, you said before that she ‘almost’ fit my criteria to a T…”
“Yes, I did. Lauren Milles is personable, smart, a jack of all trades… Interesting results on the psych evaluation. Comfortable with moral ambiguity. The only trait that doesn’t quite fit your criteria is her age. She’s 16 years old, and I know the upper age limit you specified was 14...”
“Yes, ideally, the girls just take to the new environment much easier if they’re a bit younger. By the time they’re 16, they’ve already got quite a mind of their own. I’m not sure how much influence an old man such as myself can have on a 16 year old girl who already sounds like she’s quite willful…”
“Well, sir, the reason why I wanted to bring her to your attention anyway is her natural curiosity about… well, EVERYTHING. And she’s very… open to suggestion. I think if you can appeal to her curiosity, and make her think that attaining the goals you set for her will be fun, you can mold her into whatever you want.”
“Interesting point, Ms. Hannigan. On second thought, please make a copy of her file and overnight it to my office. I will definitely give this further consideration based on your recommendation.”
“Absolutely, Mr. Charles. I hope you can reach out to Miss Milles and be a positive role model in her life. My theory is that she turned out this way because her parents were absent during her formative years. I…”
“I’m sure you’re on to something, Ms. Hannigan,” Charles cut her off. “Please send the file as soon as possible. And oh look! If you leave right now, you can get to the post office before it closes for the day! Good-bye,” he said, and hung up before she had a chance to say anything else.
“Good-bye,” she said and looked at the receiver in her hand. “I hope that doesn’t come back to haunt me,” she said to herself quietly. “Strange man…”
In his home office, Charles leaned back in his office chair and smiled, looking very relaxed. He turned his head to look at a monitor whose screen was broken up into five different views. Mira had her Tae Kwon Do instructor pinned to the ground in the gym. Candy was outside flipping off of the roof of the guesthouse while practicing parkour. Jen was warming up her vocal cords in one of the laboratories while her vocal coach watched from a window in the next room. Meiling was in the gym, adding more 45 lb plates to the Smith machine. Shannon was in the bio-lab working along side a former scientist from Dugway Proving Grounds. And now he had one that could be molded into whatever the group needed… as long as he appealed to her overdeveloped sense of ridiculousness.
but does she do jazz hands?
ReplyDeleteI love that the psychologist is Alison Hannigan. :)
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